winter scenes

from the top: the best snickerdoodles, blondies (or simply blondie batter, if you want to stop at that point -- I nearly did) | lavash bread (will leave the pizza to your imagination; ours were heavily inspired by all the lavash & otherwise pizza we ate in Pasadena!)

thesis thoughts (ii)

• reading Dean Young's AGE OF DISCOVERY & considering how humans can't use science to explore the Big Things: like, in this poem, LOVE.
• reading everything Dean Young's ever written.

thesis thoughts (i)

AT PRESENT: still as-yet unable to articulate what exactly (as opposed to exactly what) it is that I'm writing about, despite having read (everything) I can find on the subject. the mysterious subject. the subject about which I can say nothing definite besides that it is The Subject. but I can give you a general idea?

• there is A Reason out there -- perhaps not my raison d'être, but it's close. it's the reason I so love BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: humanity, yes (and how -- my brother often walks in while I'm watching it & complains that it's not as "futuristically focused" as its name would have it. "DIRTY HANDS" did this more than most; give me another show that has an entire subplot devoted to collective bargaining rights. in space. mais I digress.) humanity, but also good science + scientists, engineers, doctors. plus a healthy dose of UNKNOWN in the form of the cylon god. it's this UNKNOWN in which I'm interested, but only in its sci-fi setting.
• which brings me to INTERSTELLAR -- I'm interested in that particular thing in that particular setting because sci-fi ought to be able to explain everything. it tends to overexplain, in the case of William Gibson. but when confronted with this UNKNOWN, it can't. the characters -- civilizations, whatever -- are at a loss. the book/film/show ends with this unknown still unknown. this is where INTERSTELLAR & 2001 diverge. (this is also where I ought to stop using italics to make my point.) the former loves explanation too much! the latter leaves all things up in the air. there are those -- physics majors usually -- who appreciated INTERSTELLAR's explanation of its own climax. I thought I would; I didn't. I am not religious, but I'd have preferred the fifth-dimensional humans to be gods; they are, I suppose (in their incredible difference from us), god-level, but they are never explicitly referred to as gods. perhaps that's the point. perhaps I'm missing it completely. anyway, an excess of quantum physics does not always a compelling story make.
• that said, these are the books I've read: MISS SMILLA'S FEELING FOR SNOW (not at all science fiction, but mystery, which tends to have the same problem; also, chock-full, at least in the beginning, of lovely Euclidean metaphors) & EINSTEIN'S DREAMS (the whimsical end of speculative fiction, ridiculous notions of time interspersed with the publication of the theory of relativity itself) & SOLARIS (the most fitting: direct mention of the UNKNOWN being a godlike figure, but a fallible god, a childlike god -- read it!)
• so: mankind! womankind! humankind! versus the unknown. books that refuse to explain themselves. this is getting more concrete by the...week.

lastly: fully aware that this is a thesis of little consequence, as theses go -- but damn it if I haven't been asking everyone what they plan to write about, even if I don't know myself what I plan to write about, beyond ~vagueness~.

the choice says a lot about a person, I think, as do most choices involving books. currently reading: Mann's BUDDENBROOKS, introduced to me by my interviewer for [redacted; nobody needs to know where I'm applying! because nobody else tells me the truth about where they're applying! & I'm not high-minded enough to rise above the struggle, it seems.] it's her favorite novel. an inversion of P&P, so far, and German to boot.

A DAY IN AUSTIN & ELSEWHERE: several Caldwell kolaches (including: poppyseed, delicious but might maybe make you opium-positive), a lot of Kerbey Lane + a lot of SoCo, three $50 dresses (as in: affordable & frankly a steal, but more than I am comfortable spending -- but also p gorgeous), PRINCIPLES OF AMERICAN NUCLEAR CHEMISTRY, cacti growing out of dinosaurs, too-decadent bread puddings, a hard-fought & well-deserved Lady Aggie victory over Vanderbilt, and two instances of celery-craving later, I am home.

it was a very good one (as I race to bed, eager to keep up my EIGHT-HOURS-OF-SLEEP-STREAK before waking up at 7:30 to film tomorrow morning. peace.)

new year, new pb cookies

hello, 2015!

2014 was...a rollercoaster. one with only one hill. the first half of 2014 didn't treat me very well, but the second half totally made up for it -- this past semester senior year has been wonderful & I'm so thankful to everyone (& myself, I suppose) for making it that way. (let me say: 17th birthday onward, life has been literally & figuratively perfect. that's all of November & December -- uncharacteristic!)

thus, I have high hopes for the first half of 2015.

but we'll travel back in time just a little bit: here, I present to you the last of 2014's (very few & far between) baking experiments, tried originally for a cute, small gathering to ring in the nouvel an (with PITCH PERFECT & prickly pear, among other things that don't all start with the letter 'p').

subsequently (sitting at home the following day with the remaining ten or so), I realized that they were severely lacking in salt. however, that didn't stop me from eating all of them at once & only feeling a little bit guilty -- I mean, they're not patently unhealthy?

flourless pb cookies
adapted from claire robinson's flourless peanut butter cookies
makes 16, ish

1 cup honey roasted peanut butter
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 large egg

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, cream the peanut butter & sugar together really, really well. When you think you're done, go a little longer. (Unless you want grainy cookies.)

Add the baking soda & salt, then the vanilla extract; mix well.

Lightly beat the egg before adding it to the bowl with all of the other ingredients.

The dough's done; refrigerate it for as long as you can stand. I managed 30 minutes before I decided that I really wanted to move on with my life, but I have faith that you can beat me.

Place (not spoon; the dough is, hopefully, fairly thick) tablespoon-sized dollops onto a parchment-covered baking tray. Leave more than an inch between cookies; these spread a lot! Use a fork to press the cookies down, making cute crosshatch patterns if you so desire.

Bake for about 10 minutes & allow the cookies to cool for a while once they're out of the oven. You can freeze them; I thought they tasted better that way.

consumption report // notables of 2014

as I am truly bad at a) going to the movie theatre, b) visiting Barnes & Noble / reading the NYT's bestseller list / not going straight to the back of the library, and c) changing the radio to a non-NPR station in the car [d) all of the above, yes?] -- this is a list of the best media of 2014 as I experienced it, not as it entered the world. which means that a good chunk of it is not from 2014.

uncategorized & in no particular order (actually, in an intentionally confusing order):

battlestar galactica (2004) is a show I've been watching for two years now, and I'm still in the middle of the third season. it is haunting & lovely & frustrating & highfalutin & down-to-earth & all too much, so contradictory in the best of ways.

interstellar (2014) was transcendental! way-too-soaring pianos & inexplicable climax (regrettably, explained anyway) notwithstanding. I cried; the father-daughter bond was the film's greatest strength. I will say nothing further; the ending makes everything rather hard to discuss without a thorough knowledge of what the hell was going on with that black hole. 

deutschland: ein sommermärchen (2006) was one of the many good things to come out of my midsummer German/soccer/German soccer kick. (unusual for such obsessions, that.) if you already love the German NT, this film is precious -- filled with the WC débuts of Basti & Poldi, a questionable haircut given to Miroslav Klose, dear old Jürgen Klinsmann back before he transplanted to California -- back when he had Joachim Löw working underneath him. (if you don't already love them, you will.) you know how the 2006 World Cup ended; that won't change the suspense you'll feel leading up to the match that [redacted, in case you were somehow living under a rock during all the 2014 coverage & don't know how it ended]. it'll make you laugh & cry & feel all fuzzy inside, as do the best of sports films.

run lola run (1997) is the movie I now put under "favorite movie" when STAR WARS seems too trite. (hello, USC application.) it's that good -- perhaps only because I watched it while feverish, as I've yet to watch it again. but the memory is good -- as were my memories of STAR WARS as a twelve-year-old, before I watched it aged fifteen & felt jaded. I've taked about this twice before: Franka Potente, violently redheaded, racing through Berlin. three times over. to a killer soundtrack. what's not to love?

l'auberge espagnole (2002) is adorable & accurately represents all of my pipe dreams. also, it stars Romain Duris & (sort of ) Audrey Tautou, so why aren't you watching it right now?

guardians of the galaxy (2014) is all I've ever needed out of a Marvel film; it's more irreverent yet has more heart than THE AVENGERS (like, Groot's last line beats every line of throwaway dialogue in that film, much as I appreciated it) & it's full of really good music. as a plot point, to boot. also, just watching the DVD extras & seeing James Gunn's passion for what he's created was pretty incredible (& pretty daunting; don't send me to film school, I cannot handle that much work).

brooklyn nine-nine (2013) is a show I ought to have started watching during my time in the doldrums last year. it's heartwarming, even among -- well, everything in the news about the NYPD these days -- and it's unfailingly hilarious. Andy Samberg is golden, but I think Stephanie Beatriz is my favorite. almost an inspiration to wear all black, every day. almost.

mona lisa smile (2003) is very much as dogmatic and as heart-rending as DEAD POETS SOCIETY, but it's full of girls with their gorgeous wardrobes & doesn't feature a death, which apparently makes it far less worthy of critical attention. bullshit, I say. sure, Julia Roberts's feminist streak in the film is a bit pushy, a bit much -- but others call her out on it, which is one of the film's greatest strengths. you will fall in love with every character: Maggie Gyllenhaal is absolutely sublime, Kirsten Dunst is a sneaky not-quite-bad antagonist, Julia Stiles is the one who calls her professor out, & Ginnifer Goodwin is... underrated & underrepresented in the promotional material. if there's something the producers did very wrong, it's that.

modern vampires of the city (2013) provided the borderline-depressing soundtrack to my physics/chemistry/calculus studying of March & April. it's not sad, per se, & it's not The National's particular brand of melancholy. it's not even melancholy, really. "step" & "ya hey" & eventually the entire album will get stuck in your head & make you horribly nostalgic.

long time, no see; have some photos from Pasadena. (click to enlarge; justify the third of my savings I spent on a nice camera + lens.)